Reading material

As an English major, I'm more or less expected to be rather selective in my choice of literature. If one has a craving for a novel on romance/female identity development, it is always better to read Madame Bovary than chick lit. when your credentials include informal certification as a grammarian, literary critic, and possible bohemian. But let us be honest. A pro-gamer may enjoy Mario Cart every so often, and a chemist may like to concoct crude, imprecise explosions in his backyard, using aersol cans and a bonfire. Similarly, I am entitled to enjoy material that is neither well-written nor particularly inventive. For example, I tried reading Dostoyevsky in bed every night. I can't fall asleep unless I read, so I always have a bed book. But ol' Fyodor couldn't hold my attention. In my subconscious state, I would read four sentences and be unable to summarize their content. So I exchanged Dostoyevsky for Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, stories of the jolly, fat neighbor lady who helps all the suburban housewives fix their children's behavioral ills. The stereotypes and predictability are unreal, but I enjoy engaging only a quarter of my brain as I fall asleep to tales of traditional, conservative, restrictive values. "Reader's Digest" and "Guideposts" are also my magazines of choice while I am indisposed in the ladies room. I know the structure of these types of articles keenly. They begin with an exciting first paragraph, like, "Slam! Josh rammed into a mailbox as he swerved to miss a two year old girl standing in the middle of a quiet street in his Wisconsin neighborhood" (completely fictional). This is followed by an introduction to the people involved, the background of the situation, a build in intensity, a resolution, and then a parting analysis of the situation OR update on what has happened to those involved since the incident. It's quite delicious. Just like watching Law and Order or What Not To Wear. You know what will happen when, and it's positively comforting.
I like reading such trash occasionally. I'll admit that I have read too many "People" magazines in the doctor's office, and may have even been tempted to get a subscription, would it not put my intellectual and ethical integrity on the line. Why am I telling you this? Perhaps for self-exculpation, although I have no intention of changing, or perhaps to also give you permission to enjoy a children's book every so often, or a juicy read about Brangelina.