embarrassing entertainment

One of my aunt's good friends is a board member of a small theater here in Chicago, which, for some reason, I'm going to leave unnamed, although the quality of its productions is unassailable. This kind lady decided to procure, unsolicited, two tickets to 9, their most recent musical endeavor and gave them to my aunt. My aunt asked me to come along, and I gladly agreed. However, when the day rolled around a few weeks ago, Becky was feeling tired and rather disinterested in a theatrical performance. She told me this a little before church, only a few hours before we were to be on our way towards the stage. It was my job to find someone, and quickly. My first thought was my friend Laura, but then I recalled she had some family thing going on--birthday, mom, something or other. I wasn't quite sure who else I could ask from my church. Quite honestly, I'm a bit nervous about inviting people from my new church to partake of modern media or culture. I don't know what they enjoy, what they consider frivolous, or scandalous. While mentally debating with myself, I thought, what the heck, I'll just mention it to Laura and see what she says. Little did I know how glad I would be when she said she would come along; her mom's birthday was going to be celebrated in the late evening.
We traversed to a particular yuppie neighborhood in downtown Chicago and enjoyed exploring its streets before the play because we were there pretty early. Unfortunately, we walked too far and had to book it back to the theater to get there on time--I took off my shoes and ran/walked real fast on the sidewalk. Laura and I slipped into our seats just as the director stepped on stage to begin introducing the play. I should have known something was up when I looked around and only saw one child--a girl of about 12 who was sitting with her mother.
The play is about a writer/director/actor/philanderer who finds himself in the midst of personal and professional crisis. Not only can he not commit to his wife because of the 8 other women lurking around the corner, he can't seem to pull together a movie for a writing/directing/acting contract that he signed without any ideas for said film. Yes, there are 9 women dressed in black whose presence is constant in nearly all scenes. After the first song, these women pulled away the white sheet covering a large object on stage to reveal a rather graphic painting of a completely naked woman. This painting remained on stage for the remainder of the play. But it gets worse.
A few songs into it, one of the 9, reclining in only her underclothing, is rolled on stage in an antique bathtub. She is on the phone with our hero, saying lots of--ahem--suggestive things. At one point in her monologue, a few of the other women came up and poured water all over her. It was ridiculous. Laura and I were rather embarrassed, evidenced by the fact that we kept laughing, hiding our eyes, and exchanging shocked looks. I can't imagine my reaction if I was with someone from my church, or, may God help us all, a boy. I probably would have covered my face the whole time, or his, and apologize profusely the entire time.
Fortunately, the play didn't sexually escalate from there. The tub scene was as bad as it got. The thing even had some therapeutic and moral conclusion. Good for it. Good for our morally degenerate hero.
The food afterwards helped to repair some of the mental scarring. Apparently Laura and I were two of the very few citizen patrons that day. It was the press opening, with over 100 newspapers, online journals, etc. represented there. We greedily partook of the black bean dip and little sandwiches.
Even better was meeting the musical director of the play, and seeing the actor who portrayed the object of the 9 women's affection. The latter was surprisingly shy and unslimy in real life. Ah well. It takes all kinds.
With the naked painted woman at our backs, and food goodies in our hands, Laura and I left this theater, graciously thanked my aunt's friend, and wondered at our luck, both in the opportunity to see the play, and also in attending with the right person.